Who Am I?

As I sat on the towel spread over my couch (due to a potty accident that occurred hours before) and listened for Ella Kate to cry out again after finally getting her to sleep after an hour and a half of screaming for no apparent reason, I thought "who am I?".  I have lost myself.  I have lost all traces of the person I used to think of myself as.  I don't even know how I would currently describe myself to anyone except to say that I am the mother of 2 children who's actions demand every ounce of energy and patience that I have, plus some that I didn't know I had!  I used to be a person who was able to make decisions for myself.  I didn't usually need input from a lot of people to decide on things.  So I think I'm struggling to have someone else dictate how my day goes.  And because I'm constantly trying to squeeze in time for myself I don't take suggestions from others well about what to do during those times.  I want to decide in that time what I want to do.  Maybe it's just go take a shower.  Maybe I want to clean or do laundry, but I want to be the one to decide it.  There are brief moments during the day (like now while I'm writing this) that I can get away while they are sleeping and try to organize my thoughts, and maybe make some plans.  But most of those thoughts and plans revolve around them anyway, so that's not really getting away.  And brief moments do not make a person who they are. 
I also used to be sort of a loner.  I didn't need a lot of friends, just a few close ones.  I was happiest at home in my room reading, working on projects for myself, or spending time with my family.  But of course kids = no alone time.  We've all heard the comments from moms who cannot even go to the bathroom without hearing "Whatchya doin' in there Mom?"  I am included in that group too.  And no matter what answer I give it is followed by "Why?" 
So the answer is, I'm still trying to figure out who I am.  Maybe going back to work next week will help me find some part of myself.  My wonderful mother is going to keep both girls for 4 nights next weekend, so maybe some much needed uninterrupted sleep and time by myself and with my husband will help, too.  Maybe I'm just too impatient and need to wait until they are bigger to worry about getting myself back, although I'm partly afraid I will alienate my friends and family before that day comes.